I happened to come across these from my physiology notes. Enjoy :)
It's a good thing aliens aren't watching us.
Taking Roll: Do you go by Peter or Peter?
On Steroids: Anybody take anabolic steroids for weight-lifting? Increase your muscle mass? It'll make you impotent...
On RAFTS: ...tie boats together, go out to the island playing reggae. Now that's rafting.
On Classes: Y'all take Bible here, do you not?
On Tissues: Anyone need to pee in here? Anyone holding it in? Brian?
On Tissues (Again): ...sphincter that Brian is communicating to his bladder... 'Don't pee in class. You might get Emily wet' [...] and then Brian will go and urinate and then his bladder will go back to normal shape.
On The Previous Class: I think we ended last week talking about Brian's bladder
On Diagrams: Should I put those up? They're actually in the book... snicker-snicker...
Unknown: I did that to confused people... that I do.
No Idea: A body goo... g-o-o... body goo... gooey... don't quote me on this. Too late.
On Notes: I'm gonna skip through that... but it may be important. It's in the notes.
On Aspirin: That's why yours truly takes an aspirin a day... aspirin, the miracle drug!
On Aspirin (Again): Ever see the commercial where the mom and the daughter... she's like 'I was having a heart attack at Wal-mart and I took an aspirin and the doctor said it saved my life'...
On Differential Diagnosis: 30 year old complaining of chest pains... do the drug test, thinking they're a crack head
On His Ears: Have I wiggled my ears for you guys? No. I practiced for a long time. That's what I used to do in church during prayer to see if someone would start laughing behind me. I was a young kid. It's things kids would do.
On The Abdominal Cavity: The abdominal cavity is closed to the outside environment... hopefully.
On His Biceps: Are you impressed? Mine hangs down. It's the anti-bicep.
On Class: I'm starting what I should've started 30 minutes ago... how's that for organization?
On Vegas: Vivo Las Vegas! No, that's viva...
On Elvis: Elvis Presley, great voice. Unlike me...
On Biorhythms: My biorhythms are off. If I seem a little disconnected, that may be the reason, although I always seem disconnected... o_O
No Idea: I'm still in a daze. You guys are in a fog. I can't tell who you are... am I right, George?
On Cycles: ...a loop cycle, that goes in a circle, if you will... A CIRCULAR CYCLE? NO WAY!
On Glasses: HAAAAAA on your glasses, fog 'em up, you can clean 'em... I'll stick to solution, thanks.
On Amino Acids: The amino acid lives to fight another day...
On Lactose Intolerance: Lactose-intolerance... have dairy products and you gotta rush off to the bathroom... like the movie White Chicks. I LOVE that he's seen White Chicks.
On Morning Drunkenness: Are there any drunk students here from Mimosas on the Mall?
On Clubs: ...at the Club Clearview listening to some band like 'clap your hands and say yeah' one of those esoteric bands having your one drink per hour...
On Humans: ...we're bags of mostly water...
On Saline: If you're sitting there dead or dying, C'MON BUDDY!
On Hypotonic Solutions: ...sometimes I can tell, they're laughing... in their own isolated environment...
On Kyle: Kyle says yes... you're Kyle, right? Kyle's not here...
On AGs: ...giving a big bear hug to an antigen to engulf it...
On Endocytosis: Let's say we endocytose something... I don't know... something... it's becoming one with the antigen... they're the ying and the yang... they're soulmates... no, go ahead, I'm sorry.
On Our Textbook: The elusive Silverthorn text, which many of you do not own, I'm sure.
On Toes: Phalanges and Phalanges... a law firm.
On Viagra: If we dilate a blood vessel, then it becomes engorged. That's how Viagra works... the little blue pill...
LOLOLOL: It's when I became disillusioned with Mary Tyler Moore... God, I wish I knew what he was talking about here...
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
Continuation...
Well, looks like it's time for me to pack up and leave Dallas. Hopefully you'll continue to experience more Dr. Slaughter awesomeness and please share it with me. I have an email at which you can send your daily Slaughter Says quotes. Feel free to include the context and which class you were in.
That being said, have a great next year, y'all :)
<3
EMAIL ANY AND ALL QUOTES TO: sfscheerleader03@yahoo.com
That being said, have a great next year, y'all :)
<3
EMAIL ANY AND ALL QUOTES TO: sfscheerleader03@yahoo.com
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Human Infectious Diseases #13
April 12, 2012
On Tuberculosis: People in El Paso have it.
On Tuberculosis in Airplanes: I recommend that you purchase a Scott Pack. Take it on the flight with you. It might be suspicious going through customs... (Good idea. I never like to take chances with recycled air.)
On Central Air: I encourage everyone to open the windows in the summer and the winter.
On Patient Zero: He would go from the Atlanta orgy to the New York orgy to the LA orgy. I'm exaggerating a little bit. (Slut.)
On Ghon Factors: It's like 'shields up' on the Starship Enterprise.
On Getting Free TB Treatments: Act homeless. That's what I'd do. Get free treatments...
On Onions: I don't talk about my vagina. (o_O)
On Coors Beer: You know how they have the rocky... stream where they get the water? We peed in it. I'm sure they filtered it. (Never drinking Coors. EVER. All the filtering in the world...)
Finally got a good recording device on my phone...
On Tuberculosis: People in El Paso have it.
On Tuberculosis in Airplanes: I recommend that you purchase a Scott Pack. Take it on the flight with you. It might be suspicious going through customs... (Good idea. I never like to take chances with recycled air.)
On Central Air: I encourage everyone to open the windows in the summer and the winter.
On Patient Zero: He would go from the Atlanta orgy to the New York orgy to the LA orgy. I'm exaggerating a little bit. (Slut.)
On Ghon Factors: It's like 'shields up' on the Starship Enterprise.
On Getting Free TB Treatments: Act homeless. That's what I'd do. Get free treatments...
On Onions: I don't talk about my vagina. (o_O)
On Coors Beer: You know how they have the rocky... stream where they get the water? We peed in it. I'm sure they filtered it. (Never drinking Coors. EVER. All the filtering in the world...)
Finally got a good recording device on my phone...
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Human Infectious Diseases #12
April 9, 2012
On Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: July 15th? That's coming out soon. (Yep. I predict it'll be the movie of the summer.)
On Encephalitis: What is encephalitis? It's all in your brain... (I see what you did there.)
On Toxoplasmosis: I'm sure my dog is full of it. Why is my dog full of it? Because he LOVES cat poop.
On The Green Parrot: I used to eat at a place called the Green Parrot... at night the fun thing was bats would come... you'd be eating your eggplant parmesan and bats would fly by.
On Rabies: When it progresses, that's when the fun begins.
On Rabies (Again): Don't get rabies. You were thinking it before you came to this lecture, but now you've decided against it.
On Tetanus: Cut yourself and sprinkle some Clostridium tetanin in it. I don't think you'll get it in that case. (I'd rather not...)
On Violating Someone's Anti-Inoculation Beliefs: You might not go to jail. You might get the tar sued out of ya.
On Violating Someone's Anti-Treatment Beliefs: You gonna let 'em die? Or are you gonna risk it? Slip a little blood in there...
On Easter Break: I was in Austin. Watching bats.
On His Tetanus Booster Shot: I guess I haven't had one... in a while... (Might wanna get on that.)
On Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: July 15th? That's coming out soon. (Yep. I predict it'll be the movie of the summer.)
On Encephalitis: What is encephalitis? It's all in your brain... (I see what you did there.)
On Toxoplasmosis: I'm sure my dog is full of it. Why is my dog full of it? Because he LOVES cat poop.
On The Green Parrot: I used to eat at a place called the Green Parrot... at night the fun thing was bats would come... you'd be eating your eggplant parmesan and bats would fly by.
On Rabies: When it progresses, that's when the fun begins.
On Rabies (Again): Don't get rabies. You were thinking it before you came to this lecture, but now you've decided against it.
On Tetanus: Cut yourself and sprinkle some Clostridium tetanin in it. I don't think you'll get it in that case. (I'd rather not...)
On Violating Someone's Anti-Inoculation Beliefs: You might not go to jail. You might get the tar sued out of ya.
On Violating Someone's Anti-Treatment Beliefs: You gonna let 'em die? Or are you gonna risk it? Slip a little blood in there...
On Easter Break: I was in Austin. Watching bats.
On His Tetanus Booster Shot: I guess I haven't had one... in a while... (Might wanna get on that.)
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Anatomy & Physiology 2008/2009
On His Cousin: My cousin likes to touch ears. He's a dentist now. It's like a fetish.
On The Anterior Fontanelle: Push on their soft spots while they're not looking. Not hard, but gently. Especially if they're less than 6 months old. You just pretend like you're stoking it, but you're really feeling around for that anterior fontanelle. Push on that baby.
On Defecation: When you think of Dr. Slaughter, think of defecation.
On Drugs: Has anyone in here done LSD?
On Sound: Anyone got those cars with 10000 watts? BOOMP BOOMP BOOMP! Blastin' some Lollipop...
On Urination: No. I should not urinate during lecture.
On Flomax: They show the old guy and he misses out on the fishin' 'cause he's gotta go to the bathroom.
On The Digestive System: What are we, but essentially a tube from the mouth to the anus?
On The Pancreas: That spongy gizmo.
On The Cremasteric Reflex: You can stroke the inner thigh with your finger and you can watch the scrotum go up or completely disappear. It's fun, you can do that for hours.
No Context: OH GEE! GROSS TO THE MAX!
On Sound (Again): ...a whisper would be around 15 decibles. It's threshold would be a Lil' Wayne concert.
On Sound (Again): ...we barely hear the baby wake up, when it's in danger from the saber tooth tiger... (Was that about sound or was that another one of his tangents that goes way into left field?)
On Drugs (Again): Y'all know what marijuana is, right?
On Phantom Pain: "Hey, Doc, my arm hurts!" "You don't have an arm." "Well it still hurts."
On Drugs (Again): ...it may decrease pressure for those with glaucoma. This is not an endorsement. (fake glaucoma = medical marijuana prescription?... DOCTOR, MY EYE...)
On Sight: I see a cow. Mooo. A cow.
On Being A High School Dance Chaperone: Their dancing is kind of different... like simulated sex. That was my job: to break them up. (leave room for the Holy Spirit, y'all)
On A Biker Bar He Saw Once: I figure it's where you catch the clap (claps) at the Texas Trap. (he LITERALLY clapped. I nearly died laughing.)
On A Video: He's got a scalpel, looks like he'll be doing some cutt- OH THERE'S SOME BLOOD!
On Life: Aging... every year gets worse... smoking's bad...
On Himself: I do have a problem. I need one of those interventions.
Those were the days...
On The Anterior Fontanelle: Push on their soft spots while they're not looking. Not hard, but gently. Especially if they're less than 6 months old. You just pretend like you're stoking it, but you're really feeling around for that anterior fontanelle. Push on that baby.
On Defecation: When you think of Dr. Slaughter, think of defecation.
On Drugs: Has anyone in here done LSD?
On Sound: Anyone got those cars with 10000 watts? BOOMP BOOMP BOOMP! Blastin' some Lollipop...
On Urination: No. I should not urinate during lecture.
On Flomax: They show the old guy and he misses out on the fishin' 'cause he's gotta go to the bathroom.
On The Digestive System: What are we, but essentially a tube from the mouth to the anus?
On The Pancreas: That spongy gizmo.
On The Cremasteric Reflex: You can stroke the inner thigh with your finger and you can watch the scrotum go up or completely disappear. It's fun, you can do that for hours.
No Context: OH GEE! GROSS TO THE MAX!
On Sound (Again): ...a whisper would be around 15 decibles. It's threshold would be a Lil' Wayne concert.
On Sound (Again): ...we barely hear the baby wake up, when it's in danger from the saber tooth tiger... (Was that about sound or was that another one of his tangents that goes way into left field?)
On Drugs (Again): Y'all know what marijuana is, right?
On Phantom Pain: "Hey, Doc, my arm hurts!" "You don't have an arm." "Well it still hurts."
On Drugs (Again): ...it may decrease pressure for those with glaucoma. This is not an endorsement. (fake glaucoma = medical marijuana prescription?... DOCTOR, MY EYE...)
On Sight: I see a cow. Mooo. A cow.
On Being A High School Dance Chaperone: Their dancing is kind of different... like simulated sex. That was my job: to break them up. (leave room for the Holy Spirit, y'all)
On A Biker Bar He Saw Once: I figure it's where you catch the clap (claps) at the Texas Trap. (he LITERALLY clapped. I nearly died laughing.)
On A Video: He's got a scalpel, looks like he'll be doing some cutt- OH THERE'S SOME BLOOD!
On Life: Aging... every year gets worse... smoking's bad...
On Himself: I do have a problem. I need one of those interventions.
Those were the days...
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