I happened to come across these from my physiology notes. Enjoy :)
It's a good thing aliens aren't watching us.
Taking Roll: Do you go by Peter or Peter?
On Steroids: Anybody take anabolic steroids for weight-lifting? Increase your muscle mass? It'll make you impotent...
On RAFTS: ...tie boats together, go out to the island playing reggae. Now that's rafting.
On Classes: Y'all take Bible here, do you not?
On Tissues: Anyone need to pee in here? Anyone holding it in? Brian?
On Tissues (Again): ...sphincter that Brian is communicating to his bladder... 'Don't pee in class. You might get Emily wet' [...] and then Brian will go and urinate and then his bladder will go back to normal shape.
On The Previous Class: I think we ended last week talking about Brian's bladder
On Diagrams: Should I put those up? They're actually in the book... snicker-snicker...
Unknown: I did that to confused people... that I do.
No Idea: A body goo... g-o-o... body goo... gooey... don't quote me on this. Too late.
On Notes: I'm gonna skip through that... but it may be important. It's in the notes.
On Aspirin: That's why yours truly takes an aspirin a day... aspirin, the miracle drug!
On Aspirin (Again): Ever see the commercial where the mom and the daughter... she's like 'I was having a heart attack at Wal-mart and I took an aspirin and the doctor said it saved my life'...
On Differential Diagnosis: 30 year old complaining of chest pains... do the drug test, thinking they're a crack head
On His Ears: Have I wiggled my ears for you guys? No. I practiced for a long time. That's what I used to do in church during prayer to see if someone would start laughing behind me. I was a young kid. It's things kids would do.
On The Abdominal Cavity: The abdominal cavity is closed to the outside environment... hopefully.
On His Biceps: Are you impressed? Mine hangs down. It's the anti-bicep.
On Class: I'm starting what I should've started 30 minutes ago... how's that for organization?
On Vegas: Vivo Las Vegas! No, that's viva...
On Elvis: Elvis Presley, great voice. Unlike me...
On Biorhythms: My biorhythms are off. If I seem a little disconnected, that may be the reason, although I always seem disconnected... o_O
No Idea: I'm still in a daze. You guys are in a fog. I can't tell who you are... am I right, George?
On Cycles: ...a loop cycle, that goes in a circle, if you will... A CIRCULAR CYCLE? NO WAY!
On Glasses: HAAAAAA on your glasses, fog 'em up, you can clean 'em... I'll stick to solution, thanks.
On Amino Acids: The amino acid lives to fight another day...
On Lactose Intolerance: Lactose-intolerance... have dairy products and you gotta rush off to the bathroom... like the movie White Chicks. I LOVE that he's seen White Chicks.
On Morning Drunkenness: Are there any drunk students here from Mimosas on the Mall?
On Clubs: ...at the Club Clearview listening to some band like 'clap your hands and say yeah' one of those esoteric bands having your one drink per hour...
On Humans: ...we're bags of mostly water...
On Saline: If you're sitting there dead or dying, C'MON BUDDY!
On Hypotonic Solutions: ...sometimes I can tell, they're laughing... in their own isolated environment...
On Kyle: Kyle says yes... you're Kyle, right? Kyle's not here...
On AGs: ...giving a big bear hug to an antigen to engulf it...
On Endocytosis: Let's say we endocytose something... I don't know... something... it's becoming one with the antigen... they're the ying and the yang... they're soulmates... no, go ahead, I'm sorry.
On Our Textbook: The elusive Silverthorn text, which many of you do not own, I'm sure.
On Toes: Phalanges and Phalanges... a law firm.
On Viagra: If we dilate a blood vessel, then it becomes engorged. That's how Viagra works... the little blue pill...
LOLOLOL: It's when I became disillusioned with Mary Tyler Moore... God, I wish I knew what he was talking about here...
